SwillRacer
02-01-2006, 01:26 PM
Washington D.C. – In an emergency press release from the White House today, President Bush issued an executive order to America’s Armed Forces to lower the national Defence Condition (DEFCON) to Level 1: Maximum Force Readiness. This was in response to a news story leaked on www.NMRARACING.com earlier this morning. The White House press secretary has issued the following statement on behalf of the President: “America must proceed with extreme caution in the coming months. We have obtained actionable intelligence via our CIA informants with the National Mustang Racers Association that indicates a new ‘Axis of Evil’ is being formed. Confirmed intelligence indicates that Sticker Dude Designs, of Lake Zurich, IL and Swill Racing will be combining forces in 2006. They have but one mission: to wage war amongst the ranks of the NMRA’s EFI/Renegade class and to look good doing it. Swill Racing, for those of you who don’t know, is a fringe group of drag racing zealots based out of Joliet, IL. They claim they will be BIGGER and BETTER than ever with backing from the infamous Sticker Dude, a known purveyor of vinyl mayhem. Read my lips, BIGGER and BETTER.”
Other informants, who have provided the following information under condition of anonymity had this to say: New for 2006, Sticker Dude and Team Swill will be rocking the manufacturers midway in a brand new 48-ft double stack trailer which will play host to Sticker Dude’s vinyl laboratory from which all NMRA participants and spectators will be able to purchase everything from simple class identification decals to a full-car wraps, the latest tool in Sticker Dude’s repertoire. When asked to comment, Sticker Dude made the follow statement: “After missing the entire 2005 series we've decided to come back with a whole new look, and a whole new attitude, (and yes, the infamous RT 66 party will happen again!) We have spent the last year restructuring and working on new designs and products. Large investments have been made to bring the latest technology (and also bring costs down) to give racers some of the "Baddest" graphics we have ever come out with. Vehicle "Wraps" are the hottest thing for the vehicle graphics industry right now. The sky's the limit for us, and the best part for the racers is, it's a fraction of the cost of a paint job. We've put some really cool designs out there in past years, but now, simply put, they're Wicked!!"
The Swill Racing/Sticker Dude mustang will be transformed into a rolling and racing showcase as it will be sporting one of Sticker Dude’s custom made full-car wraps. Public viewing of the Swill Racing/Sticker Dude mustang will be available to spectators in increments of 8.5 seconds at over 160mph at all 8 NMRA events. Representatives of Swill Racing were quoted as saying: “We know that winning the championship in 2005 means that there will be a big giant bulls- eye painted on our backs that all the other Renegade teams will be aiming at this year. Now that Sticker Dude’s got our backs, we say: BRRRRRING IT.”
President Bush had one final comment about this new Axis of Evil, “America will not tolerate this type of diabolical strategery. I would strongly advise the 2006 EFI/Renegade class competitors to lock up their women and children and prepare for Swill Racing and the Sticker Dude Crew to be up in your GRILL for the duration of the 2006 NMRA racing season.”
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f130/SwillRacer/Swill3.jpg
Other informants, who have provided the following information under condition of anonymity had this to say: New for 2006, Sticker Dude and Team Swill will be rocking the manufacturers midway in a brand new 48-ft double stack trailer which will play host to Sticker Dude’s vinyl laboratory from which all NMRA participants and spectators will be able to purchase everything from simple class identification decals to a full-car wraps, the latest tool in Sticker Dude’s repertoire. When asked to comment, Sticker Dude made the follow statement: “After missing the entire 2005 series we've decided to come back with a whole new look, and a whole new attitude, (and yes, the infamous RT 66 party will happen again!) We have spent the last year restructuring and working on new designs and products. Large investments have been made to bring the latest technology (and also bring costs down) to give racers some of the "Baddest" graphics we have ever come out with. Vehicle "Wraps" are the hottest thing for the vehicle graphics industry right now. The sky's the limit for us, and the best part for the racers is, it's a fraction of the cost of a paint job. We've put some really cool designs out there in past years, but now, simply put, they're Wicked!!"
The Swill Racing/Sticker Dude mustang will be transformed into a rolling and racing showcase as it will be sporting one of Sticker Dude’s custom made full-car wraps. Public viewing of the Swill Racing/Sticker Dude mustang will be available to spectators in increments of 8.5 seconds at over 160mph at all 8 NMRA events. Representatives of Swill Racing were quoted as saying: “We know that winning the championship in 2005 means that there will be a big giant bulls- eye painted on our backs that all the other Renegade teams will be aiming at this year. Now that Sticker Dude’s got our backs, we say: BRRRRRING IT.”
President Bush had one final comment about this new Axis of Evil, “America will not tolerate this type of diabolical strategery. I would strongly advise the 2006 EFI/Renegade class competitors to lock up their women and children and prepare for Swill Racing and the Sticker Dude Crew to be up in your GRILL for the duration of the 2006 NMRA racing season.”
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f130/SwillRacer/Swill3.jpg